


The Calloused Palms of the Pastor's Son

by seacavegoblin



Series: twink line xc!au feat. a heavy dose of internalized homophobia [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Barebacking, Dirty Talk, Dry Humping, First Time, Frottage, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Religion, Riding, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 15:07:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16600298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seacavegoblin/pseuds/seacavegoblin
Summary: Horny sequel to Cornfield Trail Laps. Works as a standalone."We are all tempted by sin. We each have our own tests, our own trials, our own journeys we must overcome in order to become closer to God." The pastor spoke with firm compassion to his congregation. Outside, the cool November wind tossed and rustled through the calm corn fields, but the inside of the rural town church was warm from the buzz of the radiators and body heat.Changkyun wasn't paying attention to the man speaking from behind the pulpit. Not that his mind was ever fully present on Sunday mornings, but today especially, all he could focus on was the shaggy brown hair of Hyunwoo, the pastor's son, sitting quietly in the pew in front of him.





	The Calloused Palms of the Pastor's Son

**Author's Note:**

> All named characters are over the age of 18.
> 
> cw: internalized homophobia, religion, panic attacks

"We are all tempted by sin. We each have our own tests, our own trials, our own journeys we must overcome in order to become closer to God." The pastor spoke with firm compassion to his congregation. Outside, the cool November wind tossed and rustled through the calm corn fields, but the inside of the rural town church was warm from the buzz of the radiators and body heat. The warm spices of the pumpkin bread Changkyun's mother had made with breakfast lingered on her clothes, occasionally striking Changkyun's nose when she leaned forward next to him in their pew.

"Perhaps what tempts you is gossip -- petty slander of your good friends and neighbors. Perhaps a pornographic addiction threatens the stability of your God-loving family. Perhaps homosexual desires lie latent in the back of your mind. Remember that sin is not within us -- temptation is not a moral failing, it is merely a test of will."

Changkyun wasn't paying attention to the man speaking from behind the pulpit. Not that his mind was ever fully present on Sunday mornings, but today especially, all he could focus on was the shaggy brown hair of Hyunwoo, the pastor's son, sitting quietly in the pew in front of him.

"Satan designs a trap to tempt and lure each one of us, hoping we will fall into his grasp. What's vital is that we do not act on these temptations. We turn away from Satan's deceitful, outstretched hand, and we walk into the open arms of God instead."

* * *

Changkyun wasn't gay.

He had desires, feelings, emotions swirling inside of him that he didn't know how to handle, how to address, what they meant. He stared after Minhyuk and Jooheon at practice, thinking of the intimate moment he'd witnessed between the two of them, the set of calcified desires previously inaccessible to him that had cracked open hot and fresh from the shock of a scene he'd never even _imagined_ between two men. He stared after them, bursting with curiosity and desperation and a twisted sense of desire that may have been envy, but he wasn't gay. He wasn't _anything_ \-- he was confused, lonely, untouched, and felt deeply lost.

But when Hyunwoo smiled at him, lazy and inviting from the football field as Changkyun's cross country team jogged past the football practice, warm and reassuring in math class, gentle and subtle in the halls between classes, Changkyun's heart leaped and thrummed in his ears.

Changkyun felt lost and confused about a lot of things, but he knew he wanted Hyunwoo to smile at him like that again.

* * *

Sunday mornings before church, Changkyun went running. Compared to the boisterous energy of his afternoon cross country meets, he loved the quiet solitude of his early mornings. He loved the soothing curl of the cool November air in his overworked lungs. He loved the way his thighs burned as he pushed to see how fast he could go, just for the feeling of it. He loved the loose, gentle soreness that lingered in the muscles of his legs for the rest of the day.

Changkyun had a Sunday routine. He had a series of streets and trails he ran along, practiced, that took him in a clean 5-mile loop from his house. But today, a glance and a smile from Friday's practice burning in the back of his mind, he took a different turn, heading the opposite direction down a trail that connected to a small neighborhood near the church. Hyunwoo's neighborhood.

Changkyun's heart rate climbed higher and higher as he went. The chances he'd even see Hyunwoo were slim, but the possibility had his muscles weak and shaky from the risk and nerves of it all. He didn't know what he was even hoping for, what he was nervous about, but he was scanning the trail ahead with rapt attention.

He nearly tripped when he caught a glimpse of a figure turning around a bend up ahead, and sure enough, there was Hyunwoo, walking a dog. Recognizing Changkyun, he raised his hand in greeting. Nervous, but emboldened by something in the back of his mind, Changkyun slowed to a stop before him.

He knew he was sweaty, flushed, his bangs clinging strangely damp and windswept against his forehead. Changkyun ran his fingers quick and rough through his hair.

The two held eye contact, tense and uneasy, and Changkyun grasped for something to say, something to do.

"Cute dog," he offered after a moment, nervous.

Hyunwoo grinned back, wide and genuine. "Thanks!"

"Can I pet her?"

"Sure," Hyunwoo responded, and they both watched the dog pant happily as Changkyun scratched behind her ears, avoiding meeting each other's eyes.

"Have you started the math homework yet?" Hyunwoo braved, and Changkyun's attention was suddenly back on his face. He shook his head no.

Hyunwoo hesitated momentarily before speaking again. "Want to work on it together? This afternoon? It'll be quiet, since my parents are doing community events at the church all day," he trailed off, unsure.

"Yeah," Changkyun affirmed, his heart leaping into his throat from excitement. A hot flush traveled down his body, and he hoped Hyunwoo didn't notice. "After service?"

Hyunwoo nodded and smiled, relieved. "After service."

Changkyun couldn't stop a grin splitting across his face as he pulled back. "I'll see you then!" he responded, then turned on his heel to sprint back home, elated. Adrenaline coursed through his body, and his legs flew across the trail.

∗

 

Changkyun caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror on his way into the shower. His face was flushed, his cheeks and nose tinged red from the cold, and a foolish grin had been plastered across his face since he'd run into Hyunwoo.

What was going on with him?

As he continued to stare at his reflection, the excitement slowly drained from his face. What the fuck was he doing? Here he was, flushed like a girl head-over-heels, pining over Hyunwoo, practically running laps around his house in hopes of spotting him. He was acting like an obsessed freak. If Hyunwoo knew, would he look at him with disgust instead of that open kindness?

He spun away from the mirror and moved to continue getting ready, suddenly sluggish and ashamed.

∗

 

Changkyun's mother gave him an odd look in the car ride to church, his shift in mood strange compared to the crazed grin he'd brushed past her with on his way inside, but she didn't say anything.

He was rolling over in his head a possible list of excuses to cancel the plans he'd made with Hyunwoo as they pulled into the church parking lot and walked inside. He'd nearly made his way to his seat when he caught sight of the pastor's son. He was twisted slightly in his usual seat to watch Changkyun come in, and as soon as their eyes met, he offered a gentle smile. Warmth and excitement leaped and spread through Changkyun's body and he smiled back, mind fuzzy, all the words of rejection rolling in his mind crumbling and disappearing into nothing.

Changkyun didn't focus on a single word of the service.

* * *

Hyunwoo shifted slightly next to Changkyun on the couch, their knees barely brushing, causing Changkyun's heart to leap into his throat. This was a common theme of the past half hour.

Changkyun tried to ground himself, summoning all his willpower to focus on the homework laid on the coffee table in front of them, but the symbols on the page wouldn't stick in his mind. All he could think about was how close Hyunwoo was. How nice he smelled. The spot of warmth radiating from that tiny point of contact on his knee, spreading through Changkyun's body in a hot flush. Hyunwoo felt warm, steady, and solid next to him, and Changkyun felt himself gravitating toward that feeling.

In a moment of reckless boldness, Changkyun shifted his own leg imperceptibly closer, the length of his calf now barely pressed against Hyunwoo's. Changkyun saw Hyunwoo's eyes dart toward Changkyun's leg for just a millisecond before returning to his paper, which was also noticeably empty. That sense of warmth radiated further, strengthened and enveloping Changkyun's entire chest when Hyunwoo held the contact, making no move to readjust.

Changkyun's mind began to race wildly, and he closed his eyes, absorbing the feeling of Hyunwoo's body and his presence next to him, trying to untangle the knot of emotions writhing in his chest.

He _wanted_.

He wanted to feel Hyunwoo's calloused hands wrap around his body. He wanted to feel those steady, warm palms on his chest, calming his heartbeat. Around his waist, tugging him close. Under his knees, arranging him into place with gentle confidence & purpose. He wanted those hands to cup his cheek, stroke along his neck, engulf his own hands, press his hips down into the couch. The possibilities were dizzying.

God, it felt so good to _want_ and to acknowledge that _wanting_. Was this what attraction felt like?

Drunk with hypotheticals, desire rose and engulfed his anxieties. Changkyun turned his head slowly to face Hyunwoo, who sensed the movement and turned to look at him at the same time.

There was a brief moment of eye contact -- Hyunwoo's eyes were such a deep, dark beautiful color, and they were so close, staring straight into Changkyun's, reading him, slightly unfocused with the same desire Changkyun felt deep in his chest. Hyunwoo breathed out softly, and Changkyun felt the puff of air on his own lips.

In an instant they were both leaning in, pencils abandoned and clattering to the floor, their mouths crashing together, needy and intense. Hyunwoo's lips worked slick and hungry against Changkyun's own, slotting naturally together -- Changkyun didn't even think. He pressed back enthusiastically, hungry for more, shifting to take the lead. Hyunwoo obliged and followed to match Changkyun's rhythm, and they settled into a comfortable balance.

Hyunwoo moved his hand to rest along Changkyun's thigh, and he ran his tongue across the seam of Changkyun's lips, asking politely to deepen the kiss. The display of desire sent a jolt through Changkyun's chest, and he opened his mouth, pliant. He was desperate for _more_. Changkyun wanted to feel Hyunwoo's body pressed against him, wanted to feel the muscles of his legs beneath his own, wanted to know what the skin of Hyunwoo's chest felt like as he breathed.

When Hyunwoo's tongue brushed along the back of Changkyun's teeth, Changkyun shuddered in delight and hooked knee over Hyunwoo's legs, shifting into his lap to straddle his thighs and licking deeper into his mouth. God, Hyunwoo was so warm and solid. Changkyun could feel the muscle of Hyunwoo's legs flex beneath him, supporting his weight, and he kissed him deeper and needier.

Hyunwoo's hands came to rest on Changkyun's hipbones. The way his thumbs pressed into the the soft skin, the way his fingers wrapped along the curve of his waist with a heavy pressure, the steady sense of being grounded that came with being held -- the reality was so much more intoxicating than the daydream had been.

Changkyun tugged Hyunwoo's lower lip between his teeth, pulling just enough to tease. It was more than enough to get a reaction out of Hyunwoo, who pulled back to rotate their bodies, gripping tightly to Changkyun's hips as he pressed him down into the sofa, shifting to lay over the smaller man. He slid a hand up under Changkyun's shirt as he bent to suck harshly at his neck. The warm callouses of Hyunwoo's palm pressed firmly against Changkyun's abdomen, and had Changkyun's breath jumping and skipping.

One of Changkyun's legs came up to wrap up around Hyunwoo's hips to pull him in tighter, arching his back up to press the length of his body flush against his own. Changkyun felt something hot and stiff press against the juncture of his pelvis as Hyunwoo began to rock slowly against him -- Hyunwoo was hard.

Suddenly, Changkyun was struck with a queasy, uneasy feeling. His perspective snapped involuntarily away from his own body, and he realized the position he was in.

_Look at you. Lying on your back like this, arched up with your leg wrapped around Hyunwoo's hips. Just like a girl. Pinned down helpless into the sofa, limp and feminine, a pliant toy desperate to be used and fucked open. You're the woman here. Hyunwoo knows it._

Changkyun began to panic, desire rapidly evacuating from his body and being filled in with cold shame and fear. The leg that was previously pulling Hyunwoo's pelvis flush against his own lost all its strength. Dread welled up to his ears -- he wasn't a woman. He didn't want Hyunwoo to see him, to touch him, as a woman. He couldn't do this.

Changkyun pushed his hands shakily up against Hyunwoo's chest, desperate to shove him off and get out from beneath him. Panic was welling up cold and heavy in his limbs, making him weak and jittery, his pulse beating thin in his head.

At the weak shove against his chest, Hyunwoo sprang back, scared as well. "Shit shit shit, I'm sorry, are you okay?" he started to apologize, as Changkyun struggled to raise up into a sitting position. The muscles of his arms were unstable with anxiety. He wasn't weak, and he wasn't a girl. This was all too vulnerable -- it was all wrong.

"No, it's fine," he choked out as his heart rate began to steady. "Just need a sec." Hyunwoo quieted and watched as Changkyun gathered himself.

Once his breath evened out and his limbs stopped quavering, Changkyun raised his eyes. Hyunwoo stared back at him with concern and guilt etched deep in his face.

"I'm so sorry," Hyunwoo apologized. "What did I--"

"No," Changkyun cut him off. His hand darted to grasp over Hyunwoo's, and he squeezed over the rough fingers, trying to reassure him. "It wasn't you."

They were still for a moment before Hyunwoo flipped over his hand, letting their fingers wrap together. He gave a gentle squeeze back in recognition, but they were both still nervous.

"What happened?" Hyunwoo cautioned.

Oh no. Was he going to have to talk about this? Did he even know the right words to explain the flood of panic still retreating from his bloodstream? He hesitated, mouth opening and closing several times before he could find something to say.

Changkyun began slowly, "I just felt like . . ." but his voice broke halfway through the sentence, and he choked out the rest, "a girl."

Oh God. Now pinpricks of tears were forming at the corners of his eyes, and his chest heaved as he started to sob. Changkyun didn't want this to happen. This is the opposite of how he wanted this all to go. Now he was crying, weak and ugly and emotional, in front of Hyunwoo.

"I need . . . I need to know you see me as a man. Not a substitute for a girl," he managed to force out.

"Changkyun," Hyunwoo's voice was gentle as he reassured him, "of course I see you as a man. I like you _because_ you're a man."

A sob wracked through Changkyun's chest. He was too vulnerable, shaking and crying before this man who was on top of him just moments ago. Men weren't weak and emotional like this. Men didn't _get fucked_ like this. He wasn't a man, but he wasn't a woman -- he was a faggot.

"Changkyun," Hyunwoo's gentle voice broke through. He looked up to see concern etched in Hyunwoo's face, but his arms were outstretched, open and inviting. Changkyun felt deeply pathetic, but the offer of human comfort was too tempting, and he folded into the embrace.

Hyunwoo's arms wrapped warm around Changkyun, strong and secure, pressing him to his chest. Changkyun felt the steady rise and fall of the larger man's rib cage as he breathed evenly, and Changkyun's breathing gradually slowed to match. Eventually he stopped crying and moved his arms to hug around Hyunwoo's torso in return. The reciprocal gesture had Hyunwoo squeeze him briefly tighter, a signal of something intimate he couldn't describe.

Changkyun felt re-grounded. Calmer. The residual feelings of panic were quickly escaping from the tips of his fingers and toes as they held each other.

Relaxed and comfortable, Changkyun finally pulled up to kiss Hyunwoo again, seeking reassurance. Hyunwoo kissed him back, gentle and chaste.

This was okay -- they could keep going. He could salvage this. Changkyun pressed his tongue against Hyunwoo's lips, leaning in to try to deepen the embrace, but Hyunwoo stiffened and pulled away.

"I think, maybe . . . tonight's not the best time for this," Hyunwoo tried, awkward and uncomfortable. "Maybe we should work on the math homework."

Changkyun's spark of confidence shriveled and died as rapidly as it had appeared, and he pulled back out of Hyunwoo's weakening embrace. Shame and regret curled hot behind his eyes -- he knew how to take a hint.

"Yeah, you're right," he choked out, not really knowing how to handle the rejection. Everything had been going so well, but Changkyun had ruined it.

He turned to look at his paper, but the embarrassment from his earlier show of emotion began to crawl back and compound on top of what had just occurred. The letters on the page were fuzzy and blurred.

Of course Hyunwoo wasn't attracted to him after seeing that. Who would be interested in someone who'd just been sobbing in front of him? How much of Hyunwoo's response had been out of pity, even, not compassion? He couldn't focus. He couldn't stay here anymore, forcing Hyunwoo to finish out this disaster of a date, or whatever it was, out of obligation or pity or _something_. He needed to go.

Changkyun stood up roughly, grabbing his paper, and moved to leave. He felt Hyunwoo's eyes on him as he pulled on his shoes and stumbled toward the door, tears pricking at his eyes.

"Changkyun--" Hyunwoo tried, but he was already shutting the front door closed behind him.

* * *

Changkyun felt Hyunwoo's gaze on the back of his head when he entered math class Monday morning. A hot, shameful embarrassment bubbled and coiled up his chest wall and into his throat.

Changkyun just wanted to forget everything. He wanted to pretend nothing had ever happened, hoped they could ignore each other peacefully so he wouldn't have to think about the curl of discomfort from being raw and vulnerable, from embarrassing himself in front of Hyunwoo so intimately, from stepping over boundaries he should have been able to see. He wanted to stop revisiting the shame and panic that remained wound around his spine from lying wanton beneath another man. He hoped they could both move on smoothly so the emotions would fade.

Hyunwoo lingered as he passed Changkyun's seat, briefly, and something in Changkyun's chest leaped and writhed, but he stared straight down at the worksheet on his desk, determined not to make eye contact. Even as Hyunwoo sat in the chair in front of him, twisting in his seat to stare straight at Changkyun's face, he refused to look up from his paper. It lasted several moments too long. Changkyun's face grew more flushed by the moment as he worried how long Hyunwoo would allow this interaction to lay bare to the public, but gratefully, after several seconds, Hyunwoo gave up and turned back in his chair.

The shame lingered.

* * *

Minhyuk was ignoring Changkyun. Changkyun was ignoring Hyunwoo. It all came around, he supposed. It had been nearly a week of avoiding Hyunwoo's gaze, avoiding looking at the football team, taking different routes to class so he wouldn't pass Hyunwoo in the hallway.

The cross country team was cooling down by the water fountain, relaxing and chatting with each other. Minhyuk lay stretching his calves on the ground, laughing with Jooheon and a few others while Changkyun waited in line for the water fountain, explicitly not looking over toward the field where the football team was still finishing their practice.

The problem with looking everywhere except the football team was that Changkyun didn't notice until it was too late when they ended for the day, and didn't see Hyunwoo until he had nearly reached the group

"Hey, Changkyun?" Hyunwoo called out. The idle titter of the cross country team quieted, curious.

He couldn't do this. Not in front of everyone. Changkyun's heart rate spiked, throat constricting, panic ebbing at his ears. There was no way he would say anything about what happened where the whole team could hear, right? A flurry of terrifying possibilities skimmed behind Changkyun's eyes in a fraction of a second.

"Can I ask you a few questions? About . . . the church fundraiser?" Hyunwoo's words were a little awkward, nervous himself. _Idiot_. It was a stupid lie, but Changkyun couldn't just ignore him here.

"Uh, yeah," he choked out. Something about his tone was forced and unnatural, and Minhyuk's head snapped up from the ground to read his face, suspicious.

Hyunwoo shifted his weight back and forth as silence stretched between them, Changkyun not offering anything more. "Maybe we can walk and talk?"

"I . . . uh, sure," he responded hesitantly, seeing no other way out of the situation. He broke off from the group to walk with Hyunwoo back toward the cornfield running trail where they would be able to speak privately, obscured from the rest of the school by the tall stalks.

Changkyun chanced a glance back at Minhyuk before he left, and regretted it immediately. Minhyuk's expression was dark and complex, a mix of awareness, anger, and betrayal. Oh no. He'd have to figure out how to deal with that later. He turned his gaze back to his feet as they rounded a corner into the field.

They walked in silence for several moments before Hyunwoo spoke up. "Changkyun, why won't you look at me? What's going on? It feels . . . it feels like I've done something terrible to you."

"No, it's not you," Changkyun rushed to correct him, guilt washing over him. "I just. . . I got it. I just want to forget about it. I don't want pity."

"I don't pity you, I just want to talk to you. And understand what's going on," Hyunwoo pleaded.

Changkyun opened his hands in front of him, looking at the creases of his palms as they walked. Silence stretched over them for a minute, and he looked up into Hyunwoo's face, making honest eye contact for the first time in days. There wasn't any malice there, or even pity like he'd expected. Just a pained sort of patience, waiting for a response. Changkyun decided to try and be honest, shoving aside his embarrassment. Emotion surged in his chest, and his eyes welled up involuntarily.

"I feel like a freak," Changkyun whispered.

Hyunwoo's lips parted, pain creasing in his eyebrows, and he closed his mouth again. Instead, he held out his hand, which Changkyun took. Hyunwoo squeezed it, softly.

"Me too, sometimes," he confided back.

Changkyun breathed out a shaky breath. "How did you know? About me? Is . . . is it obvious?"

"I don't know. I just knew."

"What does that _mean_? Does everyone know?"

"No, no. It's not like . . ." Hyunwoo sighed, exasperated, unable to collect the words he needed. "Whenever you looked at me. I felt something in the way you looked. Because I was looking back at you the same way. It was like . . . a recognition."

Changkyun closed his eyes, absorbing the words. They walked quietly for another minute. Changkyun shifted his palm slightly and moved his fingers to lace between Hyunwoo's.

"Changkyun," Hyunwoo spoke up again after a minute, voice cautious. "It was a lot. On Sunday. We barely know each other," he trailed off.

That feeling of rejection began to crawl back up the inside of his rib cage to his throat. Changkyun's eyes stung, and he pulled away his hand to wipe at a tear with the back of his wrist.

"I'm also struggling," Hyunwoo confessed. "When you freaked out, I got really shaken up. I felt like a predator. It feels like I'm . . . defiling you. Like it was okay to be attracted to men, as long as I never did anything about it. But now it feels like I'm pulling you into this, and ruining you alongside me. And the way you've been all week -- I've felt bad, and guilty."

An image of the cross hanging over the mantle in Hyunwoo's living room swam behind Changkyun's eyes. He thought about Hyunwoo's father standing in front of their congregation every Sunday morning, leading the community in prayer.

"You haven't done anything to me," Changkyun responded, firm. He shut his eyes again, willpower wavering, before he managed to force out the hardest bit of vulnerable honesty. "I've just been _ashamed_. And hiding from you, because being around you makes me acknowledge something inside of myself I haven't faced before. Something I'm ashamed of."

Hyunwoo was quiet, but he held out his hand again. Changkyun took it, and breathed in relief as Hyunwoo squeezed gently.

It felt reassuring to know they were both struggling, that Hyunwoo might be outwardly more stoic about what he was going through, but that he wasn't some untouchable figure who had it all figured out. They were both complex, both hurting, both working through something.

Changkyun nodded, then smiled, a half laugh coughing out. He felt more comfortable. He felt safe.

"My mom's working tonight. Would you like to come over?" Changkyun offered.

"Yeah," Hyunwoo grinned, relief etched around his eyes.

* * *

They had barely made it up the stairs and behind the closed door of the bedroom before Changkyun was pressing Hyunwoo against the door and licking hot and desperate into his mouth.

Their lips pressed and slid against each other as Hyunwoo leaned back, Changkyun pressing against his body, desperate for as much contact as possible. Hyunwoo was warm and solid beneath him, and when his hands came around Changkyun's hips to tug them flush with his own, Changkyun couldn't help but to groan softly into his mouth.

Changkyun was already half-hard against Hyunwoo's thigh, and he knew Hyunwoo could feel it. Cautious, he pulled back from his mouth and placed his hands over Hyunwoo's, which had come up to rest on his hips. He watched Hyunwoo's face carefully, reading for any signs of displeasure or hesitation, as he slowly pushed them down to cup around the curve of his ass. Hyunwoo grinned in response and craned forward to kiss him, signaling he was okay with it, and Changkyun grinned back against his lips.

A jolt of excitement jumped through Changkyun when Hyunwoo's hands squeezed his ass, and he bucked forward slightly, a reflex. The warm, heavy pressure on his ass combined with the sudden friction against his dick had Changkyun keening in delight. Chasing that feeling, he gripped tightly at the muscular curve of Hyunwoo's shoulders and he began to rock his hips heavily against Hyunwoo's thigh.

He was such a slut, getting off like a desperate bitch on Hyunwoo's _leg_ , so easy to please. He was intoxicated by Hyunwoo's presence, his smell and his taste and the feel of his skin and the solid feel of muscle beneath him.

Changkyun moved his hands from Hyunwoo's shoulders to slip under his shirt. He ran his palms up along the muscles of his torso and felt them twitch beneath his fingertips at the contact. He loved feeling how strong Hyunwoo was beneath him. He wanted to feel even more.

Breaking their kiss, Changkyun leaned to whisper into Hyunwoo's ear. "Help me out?" he asked softly, grinding his hips down again.

Hyunwoo understood and tightened his grip on Changkyun's ass, then slowly pulled, helping to drag Changkyun's hips up and down the length of his thigh. The soft, smooth skin of Hyunwoo's torso shifted under Changkyun's hands as his abdomen flexed with the movement. He was so strong and solid, working Changkyun along his body. He made Changkyun feel protected and secure, and turned on beyond belief.

Overwhelmed with desire, Changkyun moved to fasten his mouth around Hyunwoo's neck. He licked at the sweat that had begun to gather lightly over his body, tasting the saltiness on his tongue, desperate for as much of Hyunwoo's body as he could manage to consume. He bit and sucked a bruise into his neck, loving the taste and the soft texture of the skin in his mouth, loving the flex and pulse of the muscles and tendons beneath. God, he was going to come in his pants, just like this.

"I want to see you naked," Hyunwoo breathed into Changkyun's hair. "Wanna see you writhing and grinding down on my dick, just like this. Wanna make you feel good. Wanna see your face when you come."

In an instant, Changkyun detangled from Hyunwoo's lap and dragged him over to the bed. Changkyun pulled up to try to remove Hyunwoo's shirt as Hyunwoo fumbled with the button of Changkyun's pants. They both had to pause, totally tangled up, to pull off their own clothes, but the moment of awkwardness dissipated once they were both standing in front of each other, mostly naked.

Hyunwoo was completely undressed, and his large cock bobbed stiff in the air. His skin tone was a beautifully even dark, and Changkyun noticed cute, lighter-colored stretch marks along the juncture of his chest and shoulders on the outer edge of his pecs.

Changkyun stood still in his underwear, his last remaining hint of modesty suddenly holding him back, hesitant.

Hyunwoo stepped confidently into his space and rested his hands on Changkyun's hipbones, pulling him closer. His dick pressed up against the bulge in Changkyun's underwear, jutting against the damp spot of precum that had leaked through the fabric.

"This okay?" he checked in a soft tone, thumbs dipping under the waistband.

"Yeah," Changkyun breathed out. He looked down between them to watch as Hyunwoo gently tugged the fabric down his hips. Changkyun's cock was red and sensitive, throbbing and leaking so close to release. A thin, sticky string of precum connected the tip to the wet patch of his underwear as Hyunwoo pulled the cloth away, and his dick twitched at the exposure to the cool air.

"Fuck," Hyunwoo whispered. He bent down as he continued to drag Changkyun's underpants to his ankles, until he was squatting in front of Changkyun's crotch. Letting go of the fabric in his hands, he reached up to grip at Changkyun's hips and licked a thick, fat stripe up the entire length of his dick, balls to tip.

Changkyun _whined_. Hyunwoo's tongue was wet and soft and hot and felt so good against the sensitive skin. He wanted to feel that plush heat encasing his entire length, wanted to bury his cock deep into Hyunwoo's mouth and feel his tongue press flat against him. Hyunwoo was teasing, and Changkyun was too close to coming, so he tugged him back up off his knees to kiss him sloppily.

"It's hard just for you," he murmured against Hyunwoo's lips.

With those words, Hyunwoo was immediately pushing Changkyun down onto the bed, body pressing him down into the mattress as he licked into his mouth with desperate fervor.

Hyunwoo was hovering over Changkyun's body, boxing him in. The change in position ignited something familiar and unpleasant in the base of his gut, and he had to stop the panic threatening to curl up into his throat.

"Wait wait wait," Changkyun choked out, moving to pull himself up onto his elbows.

Hyunwoo shifted off him and sat up, nervous, but Changkyun immediately got up and slung his leg over Hyunwoo to straddle his hips, keeping him in place. He rested his hands over Hyunwoo's chest and paused to breathe, letting the panic die back down and allowing his heart rate to steady. Hyunwoo was watching his face carefully, nervous.

"You alright?" Hyunwoo cautioned.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"I think," Changkyun paused, picking his words carefully, struggling to grip at and unveil the emotion behind his nerves, "it's the loss of control." That feeling of being confined and trapped, that disempowerment, filled him with panic. "Can I ride you instead?"

"Yeah," Hyunwoo breathed, relieved. "Oh," he remembered, flushing dark, "my backpack, outer pocket... can you grab...?" His sentences were choppy and fragmented, embarrassed.

Changkyun swung a leg back over Hyunwoo's torso and hopped off the bed, padding over to his backpack sitting by the door. He pulled a small bottle of lube out of the small compartment and turned wide-eyed to Hyunwoo, who was now flushed even deeper.

"Do you always--"

"No!" Hyunwoo cut him off, defensive. "It's . . . new," he choked out. This time, Changkyun flushed a deep red, but he was quick to recover, moving back to the bed to straddle Hyunwoo again.

Changkyun's dick was sandwiched between their torsos, still hard and red. The shift of Hyunwoo's abs beneath him made Changkyun's dick twitch and pulse at the sensation as he leaned in to kiss the pastor's son, slow and deep.

Changkyun found Hyunwoo's hand and pressed the bottle of lube into his palm. Understanding what he was asking for, Hyunwoo shifted slightly, settling with his back against the headboard, before he pulled Changkyun fully down into his lap with a quick tug. The motion had Changkyun's cock resting flush against Hyunwoo's length, hard and pulsing and needy from lack of attention.

Changkyun rocked his hips up a couple of times to tease, and Hyunwoo leaned his head back in a groan.

"You're so fucking good," he moaned, "God, I can't wait to feel how well you're gonna wrap around my dick."

"Then hurry the fuck up," Changkyun quipped back, dragging himself slow and dirty along Hyunwoo's cock one last time. He came to a rest when he heard Hyunwoo uncap the lube behind him, and then suddenly something cold and slick was rubbing down the crack of his ass. When a thick finger tapped and pressed against his sensitive entrance, he shuddered in delight, relaxing and opening up as the tip pushed in.

The first finger was the strangest. Changkyun had never had anything in his ass before, but he loved the feel of it once he got past the initial burn. It felt full and heavy inside of him, and the ridges of Hyunwoo's knuckles rubbing against his rim as he slowly dragged it in and out were a new and exciting type of pleasure he'd never experienced before. He quickly acclimated, but he was overcome with desire and curiosity for more.

"Keep going," Changkyun breathed out, and suddenly a second wet finger was pressing against his entrance. It pressed against the tight resistance of the ring of muscle until finally sliding past, slipping in all the way to nest deep inside. This stretch was new and harsher, but it nothing Changkyun couldn't handle, especially since he was warmed up. It was the third finger that was difficult. Three stretched him more round and evenly than two, but it was _so much_ he let out a cry as it breached his entrance.

Hyunwoo paused, pulling back, but Changkyun urged him on, whimpering as he slowly sunk the three fingers in all the way to the hilt. They were both going a little too fast, a little too needy, but Changkyun adjusted quickly. Soon he was rocking back against Hyunwoo's fingers in desperation, cock back to full hardness.

"'Ready for you," Changkyun sighed as he sank back down onto the long fingers.

Hyunwoo pulled his hand gingerly away, sliding out of Changkyun's hole and leaving him gaping and fluttering around empty air as he lubed up his cock. Once he was prepared, he held Changkyun's asscheeks apart and pressed the tip against his entrance, pulsing in anticipation, waiting.

Gradually, Changkyun leaned back, sitting down on Hyunwoo's length. His rim stretched smooth and easy over the flare of the head and slipped over the widest part as he kept going. The stretch felt amazing this time, even and full. Hyunwoo's dick was softer and the skin yielded more easily to the grip of Changkyun's ass than his bony fingers had, but it was thicker, stiffer, and longer, and filled him up completely. He groaned as he sank down the rest of the way, driving slick and hard all the way to the base until Hyunwoo's balls were flush with his ass.

He only waited a moment to acclimate to the stretch before beginning to move again. Hyunwoo's dick was so long and thick inside of him, and the slight curve to it pressed against the inside walls of his body with a sinful pleasure. It almost felt as though the tip of his dick was pressed against the back of his bellybutton, sheathed so deep, deep inside of him. Changkyun slowly rose up until the crown of the head was pulling against the inside of his rim, then sunk back down in one fluid movement. Being filled up this way felt so good -- he felt so _whole_.

Hyunwoo leaned back, chest rising and falling erratically as he watched Changkyun bounce slowly on his cock, building up to a steady rhythm. He moved his hands to rest on the thick muscle of Changkyun's thighs, sinewy from years of long-distance running, and his lube-coated fingers left a slick, wet patch where they gripped.

"Fuck, does it feel good?" Hyunwoo asked. "You're so fucking good at this, Changkyun, you feel so tight and sweet on my dick. You ride me so well."

Changkyun clenched tight around him in response, drinking in the praise, focusing on riding back on Hyunwoo's lap and the push and pull of the cock sliding heavy and slick through the rim of his ass.

A large hand moved to wrap around Changkyun's neglected dick, lube-slick fingers easing the glide. The tip was red and inflamed at this point, and a thin line of precum was dribbling down to Hyunwoo's stomach. Hyunwoo thumbed along the slit and Changkyun keened at the sensitivity, back arching as he rammed his hips down harder.

"Your dick is so gorgeous," he continued as he pumped the man in his lap. "So pretty and red. You work those hips so well, it's driving me crazy. Want you to fuck me next, I want you to open me up on your cock so bad."

Changkyun bucked into Hyunwoo's fist at the image, imagining their positions reversed. Fuck, he really wanted that, too. He wanted to flip Hyunwoo over and rub his dick between the cleft of his ass. Wanted to hold him apart as he sunk into his body. Wanted to hear him whine and tell Changkyun how good and strong his dick split him open. Wanted to pull out and come over his ass, his shoulder blades, the cute little stretchmarks on his chest, his plush and swollen lips.

With one more long stroke of Hyunwoo's calloused hands down the length of his dick, Changkyun was coming in long, hard spurts over the curve of Hyunwoo's abs, painting white ropes over his stomach. He stopped rocking on Hyunwoo's lap and rested down on his length as his hips jerked and spasmed, hole clenching and fluttering around the heavy intrusion. Cool, pleasant relief flowed through his body, emanating from the base of his navel and coursing through to the tips of fingers and the edge of his scalp, contrasting the heat of Hyunwoo's body wherever it made contact with his own.

Changkyun basked in the pleasure, all the tightly wound muscles in his body relaxing as his hole twitched in the aftermath of his orgasm. He folded soft and pliant into Hyunwoo's chest, and strong arms came up to wrap around him in a tight embrace. Changkyun's cum smeared against his own torso as he relaxed against Hyunwoo, but he didn't mind, heady with pleasure and comfort.

Hyunwoo's arms moved from around Changkyun's waist to the round curve of his ass, and he gently pulled Changkyun up off his dick until he slid out completely, still hard. Changkyun whined and curled against his chest from the sensation, overstimulated. Hyunwoo's hand wrapped around his own cock to stroke himself slow and lazy until he was coming too, painting Changkyun's lower back, dripping down the crack of his ass and down into his fluttering hole.

Changkyun felt Hyunwoo relax beneath him, and he turned his head to place a wet, lazy kiss against his neck. Hyunwoo buried his nose into Changkyun's hair in response, breathing in heavy and slow as they each basked in the sensation of being tangled warm and intimate around each other.

Changkyun felt like he was glowing. He felt deeply vulnerable, but in a different, good kind of way. A comfortable way. He felt loved and protected, and a sense of security with Hyunwoo's arms wrapped gentle but deliberate around him.

A twinge of shame clawed at the base of his stomach, nasty and dirty and chastising, but the glow of comfort he felt in that moment was strong enough to tamp it down, silence it, allow him to ignore it. It was still there; there was still a lot to address. But maybe he'd be alright.

Hyunwoo pressed a soft kiss against his forehead, and Changkyun melted into his chest in delight.


End file.
